19122022

I say I’m ok, but what I really mean is….

I know how to cope with this pain alone. I’ve felt this pain before, and all these thoughts that’s flying around in my brain can’t be put into words. It’s just chaos, and I can’t tear out my heart once more, let you fold it around at all angles, tear it to pieces, only to find the source of my pain which will be covered in blood regardless. i can’t watch you suck all this pain and heartache to you as if it were your own, and patch it on your shoulders so that the weight becomes yours to carry. you say you won’t look at me differently if I were to tell you the truth — but you don’t look at a building the same way after it has collapsed, despite the fact that it will be built in stronger concrete the next time. you know the story behind it, and it will always pull a little extra on your heartstrings. so, I say I’m ok, but what I really mean is; I will survive this storm too