Decoding this feeling requires an unreal amount of ones and zeros.
My experience of you changes with the quality of light,
By which I scrutinize each memory.
I see you in your absence,
in my abandon.
In the distance separating my world from yours,
Preventing a merging,
A collision I believed would naturally occur.
I see you in your playful wonder,
In my creativity,
With which we wove magic into creaks,
And distilled rhythm from flowing streams.
I see you in your kindness,
With which you held me in your arms,
Those tears streaking down my face,
Onto your bare chest and still you remained.
From this rock experience,
We have chiseled,
Agony into allowance,
Grieve into forgiveness and grace.
We coded a new script from common language,
Navigated through generational pain,
Reconfiguring each others fantasies,
To finally christen reality,
with a brand new name.
These moonlit memories have become my sanctuaries.
Temples of wisdom in constant flux,
Where I will return,
Not to hold on but to hold — —
The whole of that beauty,
That has birthed,
Longing into love
For each of us lovers,
To emerge fully exposed yet unscathed,
Is to have known that love is not a luxury,
But a vital condition for growth and change.