I lost the bandaid for the pain I have at the sea when we accidentally met

the healing was disturbed as it got infected, I’m now experiencing a different kind of pain that I needed to restart the whole process. but it’s okay, i think. through the pain I had before, I learn how to be strong and patient.

like the firm believer of “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger” sentence, I just accepted what you did to me and focus on my growth. yes it didn’t kill me and I’m stronger but the more i rise from the ashes the more scars I get. healing myself and rebirthing again and again.

but then I wonder, did phoenix ever get tired from not being able to give it up?

for being hurt of getting burned and get back up from the ashes again and again?

and I think I don’t want to be a phoenix, to rise just for the sake of being burned again, to emit such a fire for a world that doesn’t need it. so I pray to the lord to burn me one last time. but once the fire goes out let me shed the skin and be a different bird.