How do you keep
walking under the weight of a heavy heart and mind?
Where are you going?
I don’t see how
we can remain together yet growing.
Angry, working towards outgrowing and unknowing.
I am getting tired of days that feel dark
my memories never fail to remind me
that I used to feel differently,
but as we now slowly begin to drift apart,
I am not so sure how I can still be a part
of any human interaction,
without needing to mask the dissatisfaction,
pointless endless transactions.
Brooding, lacking empathy
the presence of nobody gives me satisfaction
and I catch myself smoking for constant distractions,
annoyed at my inaction.
I know we talked about the promises we had to keep,
but suddenly I feel like I’m sinking into this, too deep.
Fear found its way back to me,
On the days where I felt too weak.
I will try to explain this to you
without having to speak,
So I hope you read poetry:
the weight of this responsibility,
it is too heavy on me.
I cannot manage the upkeep
but I keep trying,
even when I am aware
that its time to stop defying what should be
and just accept that there
no longer has to be anything tying
me to a life where I need to be complying,
to traditions and conditions that send you into madness
and leave your passions dying.
Love is a burden,
nothing of life is certain,
So tell me, in honesty
Who are you
once they lift the curtain?