Poem about self

How do you keep

walking under the weight of a heavy heart and mind?

Where are you going?

I don’t see how

we can remain together yet growing.

Angry, working towards outgrowing and unknowing.

I am getting tired of days that feel dark

my memories never fail to remind me

that I used to feel differently,

but as we now slowly begin to drift apart,

I am not so sure how I can still be a part

of any human interaction,

without needing to mask the dissatisfaction,

shallow conversations

pointless endless transactions.

Brooding, lacking empathy

the presence of nobody gives me satisfaction

and I catch myself smoking for constant distractions,

annoyed at my inaction.

I know we talked about the promises we had to keep,

but suddenly I feel like I’m sinking into this, too deep.

Fear found its way back to me,

On the days where I felt too weak.

I will try to explain this to you

without having to speak,

So I hope you read poetry:

put simply,

the weight of this responsibility,

it is too heavy on me.

I cannot manage the upkeep

but I keep trying,

even when I am aware

that its time to stop defying what should be

and just accept that there

no longer has to be anything tying

me to a life where I need to be complying,

to traditions and conditions that send you into madness

and leave your passions dying.

Love is a burden,

nothing of life is certain,

So tell me, in honesty

Who are you

once they lift the curtain?