Today you would’ve turned 43

and make a huge celebration out of your birthday. It will probably start with your exciting morning run and you invited your me and best friend, Putri and Hendra, then we pass by the chicken porridge seller in a random street we pass for a breakfast. You would’ve blast either BoA’s or any other 2000’s iconic K-pop songs and do a city tour wherever it is. It would be the night where we celebrate the first time with alcohol because you wouldn’t let me drink in front of you until I became 21.

Your party will be the best one because it’s all the people you love in one place, you would invite Stefan and I would be okay with that because it is your day. We would dance together with your weird moves, and sing together; we would start the singing session with Tears by So Chan Wee because that’s a classic.

Today you would’ve turned 43 and your doctor would tell you that you don’t need to do chemotherapy as often, that your hair would grow as long as I remember it to be. You would probably start preparing another adventure to a new strange country so that you would have so much more to tell to me. You would comeback with the most interesting weird stories and I would be there to laugh about it. I might not remember all the details but I would take every life lesson I could get from it.

Today you would’ve turned 43 but I don’t know if 365 days without you in this world would be the same up there

and counting stars is the only thing I can make sure whether you’re celebrating your birthday..


just a casual writer dreaming of closure in life

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